The Snoggarts
by Silverhill
Summary: Hogwarts these days is filled with beautiful girls. Who are they? And what are snoggarts? Well... you'll see. (Mary Sue parody)
1. The Hogwarts Express

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter characters, etc., etc.  
  
***  
  
September first arrived, and Harry Potter was going back to Hogwarts for his sixth year. Harry didn't think he could have survived the summer if it hadn't been for his best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. And now the three of them were on Platform 9 3/4 about to board the Hogwart's Express.  
  
"Excuse me," a voice said.  
  
Harry looked around and saw a very pretty girl coming toward them. She had bluish-purple eyes and shiny black hair. Harry, Ron and Hermione smiled as she approached.  
  
"I thought it was you," the girl said. "You're Harry Potter!"  
  
Harry sighed and responded politely, "Yes, I am."  
  
"Oh, you probably think I couldn't wait to meet you because you're famous," she said. "But really, I thought you couldn't wait to meet me!"  
  
"Er, excuse me?" Harry responded.  
  
"Don't you know?" said the girl, with a laugh that tinkled like bells. "I'm Selena Black. I'm Sirius's daughter."  
  
The smiles faded from Harry, Ron and Hermione's faces. Their jaws dropped and they stared blankly at Selena. Harry recovered first from his confusion.  
  
"What do you think you're playing at?!" Harry shouted. "You're sick! Don't you know how much it hurts me that Sirius is gone?! And you waltz in here pretending to be his daughter?!"  
  
Selena looked slightly surprised. "But I am his daughter," she said.  
  
Ron and Hermione glared at her.  
  
"No," Harry said simply. "Sirius had no daughter."  
  
"Oh," Selena said. "So then I guess I can't be her then, can I?"  
  
"I think you'd better leave," Hermione said.  
  
Selena waited for a moment as though she was hoping that some miracle would happen to change things. Then she turned around and walked away.  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione turned in the other direction and boarded the train.  
  
"We'll be in the prefects' compartment, but we'll come find you after a bit," Ron said.  
  
Harry found a compartment with Neville and slumped back against the seat.  
  
"What was that all about?" he wondered. Sirius didn't have any kids. But even if he did, that girl was far too cheerful about the matter. He was just wondering whether Draco Malfoy put her up to it when Ron and Hermione burst into the compartment.  
  
Ron's face was red, and he was clutching his stomach and gasping for breath. Hermione was giggling uncontrollably.  
  
"Dra- Draco . . . Mal-- It's Malfoy . . ." Ron gasped out and then fell to the floor in a fit of laughter.  
  
"Oh, for heaven's sake!" Hermione said, though Harry could tell she still hadn't recovered from whatever was making her laugh. "There's this girl in the prefects' compartment, and she claims she's a Slytherin prefect . . ."  
  
"And she's got these bits of shiny metal stuck all over her!" Ron added from the floor.  
  
"Honestly, Ron! They're called body piercings," Hermione said.  
  
"She's got body piercings?" Harry said.  
  
"Yes. In her nose, ears, lip and eyebrow," Hermione answered. "And she has a blue streak through her hair. She's wearing big, clompy boots and tight, black clothes. And she's wearing lots of black eyeliner."  
  
"Definitely sounds like a Slytherin to me," Neville said.  
  
"Yes, but that's the strange part," Hermione said. "Nobody recognizes her and none of the Slytherins seem to have heard of her before."  
  
"Hermione!" Ron said, getting up from the floor. "You haven't told them the best part!"  
  
"Oh, yes," Hermione giggled. "Well, this girl keeps chasing Malfoy all over. She won't leave him alone. And he can't figure out how to get rid of her!"  
  
At this, Ron again fell to the ground laughing and Hermione started giggling. Harry and Neville's faces broke into grins and they started laughing at Malfoy's misfortune. But Harry couldn't help wondering if the two strange girls were somehow connected. It seemed likely to be yet another bizarre year at Hogwarts. 


	2. In the Great Hall

No other unusual events occurred on the rest of the journey. The Hogwart's Express finally arrived, and students poured off the train and began making their way to the carriages.  
  
Harry was relieved to see Hagrid directing the first-year students to the boats. Hermione, however, wasn't looking at Hagrid, but at the first-years.  
  
"Is it just me, or are there a lot more first-years than usual?" Hermione said.  
  
"Who cares?" Ron said, climbing into a carriage with Ginny and Neville. Harry shrugged, and he and Hermione followed Ron.  
  
As the carriages moved toward the castle, Harry couldn't help but notice that Neville and Ginny seemed very friendly. And Harry was surprised to feel a little pang of jealousy. He brushed that thought aside and thought about Selena. She was very pretty and seemed nice. But she was so . . . wrong.  
  
The carriages pulled to a stop in front of Hogwarts castle, and the students headed in for the feast.  
  
"I wonder who they have for Defense Against the Dark Arts this year?" Harry said.  
  
"It can't be worse than Umbridge, that's for sure," Ron said, and everyone else nodded.  
  
The first thing that Harry noticed when they went into the Great Hall was that all the teachers seemed more preoccupied than usual. And there seemed to be many more teachers than he had remembered. Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick were bustling around talking to students and adults Harry didn't recognize. Harry noticed that Hermione also seemed interested. They watched as the professors pulled students away and escorted them out of the hall.  
  
"Wow. This is going to be a great year!" Ron said suddenly.  
  
Harry and Hermione turned to look at Ron, who had an expression of delight on his face. They followed Ron's gaze to the head table. Sitting at the table were nine witches they had never seen before. All of them were young, looking no older than thirty. And they were all extremely beautiful, with hair and eyes in a variety of colors.  
  
"They must be new teachers," Ron said as Hermione scowled.  
  
"Look! It's Moody," Harry said, pointing at the head table.  
  
Mad-Eye Moody approached the witch at the far end of the table. Harry, Ron and Hermione couldn't hear what Moody said, but they watched as the witch with shiny, brown curls and a perfect body got a look of consternation on her face. Then she stood up and left.  
  
Moody then walked up to the next at the table, a witch with long, flowing blond hair and violet eyes. He said something to her, and she too strode out of the hall.  
  
"No! What's he doing?" Ron said.  
  
Hermione glared at Ron and then Harry, Ron and Hermione watched as Moody did the same with the next four witches at the table. When Moody got to the seventh witch at the table, she got a look of rage on her face and stood up. Her eyes flashed, changing color from blue-green to red. She held up her hand and seemed to be speaking an incantation. Moody then said something else to her, and she turned on her heel and left the hall. The final two witches left, and Moody slumped into a chair and took a swig from his flask.  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione exchanged confused looks.  
  
"Such a mess!" They turned and saw Professor McGonagall striding in their direction, muttering to herself.  
  
"Need two defense teachers at this rate. What a mess! Don't know how Severus is ever going to deal with it."  
  
They waited until McGonagall had passed them by before they said anything.  
  
"Snape!" Harry said. "Where is he anyway?"  
  
"What do you think McGonagall means 'Don't know how Severus is ever going to deal with it'?" Ron said. "Deal with what?"  
  
Hermione was scanning the hall, searching for sight of Snape.  
  
"Look!" she cried, pointing.  
  
Harry and Ron looked to see a cluster of women and a few female students.  
  
"But what does that have to do with Snape?" Harry said.  
  
"Just watch!" Hermione said.  
  
The group of women was moving as though someone was trying to get out of the center. Harry, Ron and Hermione watched as a harassed-looking Snape pushed his way out from the cluster of witches. 


	3. New Teachers

Snape straightened his robes and strode purposefully toward Moody at the head table. The two had a short conference. Then Snape sat down at the table, and Moody headed off toward the cluster of witches. He said something to them, and they left the Great Hall.  
  
Things appeared to be settling down, so Harry, Ron and Hermione sat down at the Gryffindor table, along with Neville and Ginny.  
  
"I wonder where all these beautiful women are coming from," Harry said.  
  
"What beautiful women?" said Neville, who didn't seem to have eyes for any girl but Ginny.  
  
Harry again felt a twinge of jealousy, and he looked away. His eyes landed on the Slytherin table, and he saw Draco Malfoy sitting with Crabbe and Goyle and a girl Harry didn't recognize. She must be the girl from the train, Harry thought. She was exactly as Hermione described her, with body piercings and black clothes and makeup. But despite her strange appearance, she was really very beautiful. Harry noticed that Malfoy didn't seem to mind the attention from this new girl, and he also saw that Pansy Parkinson was sitting a few seats away and looking rather miserable.  
  
The buzzing of chatting students died down as the teachers took their places at the head table and Professor Dumbledore entered the Great Hall and went to the table.  
  
"And so, another year at Hogwarts begins," Dumbledore said. "Before we begin the sorting, I have an announcement for you. We have several exchange students this year, and . . . oh . . ." Dumbledore's voice trailed off as McGonagall leaned over and whispered in his ear.  
  
"Well, it seems I was mistaken," Dumbledore resumed. "We do not have any exchange students. So let us begin the sorting."  
  
The doors to the Great Hall opened, and the group of nervous-looking first- years entered. McGonagall brought out the Sorting Hat and stool, and called the first student up to be sorted.  
  
"It looks like there are a lot fewer of them than I noticed getting off the train," Hermione said. "I wonder why that is."  
  
"Must've been the lighting," Ron said. "It was dark outside. Maybe you were seeing shadows or something."  
  
When the sorting was over, Professor McGonagall took the Sorting Hat and stool from the hall, and Dumbledore stood up again.  
  
"Now, before the feast begins, I would like to announce a few staffing changes for this year," Dumbledore said. "As you know, we again needed a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. That, coupled with some recent, er, developments has convinced Alastor Moody to come out of retirement, this time for real, to teach at Hogwarts."  
  
Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny applauded wildly. They had gotten to know the non-imposter Moody through the Order of the Phoenix, and they couldn't think of a better teacher.  
  
"Now, our second new teacher is for Ancient Runes," Dumbledore said. "May I introduce . . . Professor Greenleaf!"  
  
Hermione slid off her seat to the floor in a dead faint.  
  
**** A/N: Yes, Professor Greenleaf is a bit of an homage to the infamous and classic Sparklypoo House comic.  
  
And sorry about the delay in telling you about snoggarts. I had planned it for the second chapter, but now it looks like that section will come in chapter five. (If you think about it, I bet you can guess what they are. You've already seen some snoggarts.) 


	4. Letter from Lupin

Harry and Ron ducked their heads under the table to check on Hermione.  
  
"Sorry about that," Hermione said, blushing furiously as she got back in her seat.  
  
As they looked around the Great Hall, they saw that Hermione was not the only one affected by Professor Greenleaf. Parvati and Lavender were whispering and giggling to each other. Hannah Abbott seemed to have fainted, as well. Cho was wiping tears from her eyes. And Pansy looked happy for the first time since Draco had turned his attention to the new Slytherin.  
  
Professor Moody grumbled loudly. "You! Come with me!" he said to Professor Greenleaf, and escorted the new teacher from the hall.  
  
"What the . . ." Harry began, but he was interrupted by Dumbledore clearing his throat.  
  
"We seem to be a bit disorganized," Dumbledore said. "So why don't we begin the feast while Professor Moody sorts things out."  
  
The plates before the students were instantly filled with all sorts of good things to eat. But nobody seemed particularly interested in their food, and the hall buzzed with conversation.  
  
"I wonder why Moody made Professor Greenleaf leave the hall," Hermione said, blushing again.  
  
"Well, he was a bit strange," said Ron. "I don't think I've seen anyone with pointed ears before, at least no one who wasn't a house elf."  
  
"He couldn't be an elf," Harry said. "He didn't look anything like Dobby."  
  
"And he wasn't enslaved, either," Hermione said, as Ron rolled his eyes.  
  
After the feast ended, the students headed toward their dormitories. Harry was deep in thought. Something strange was happening at Hogwarts, that much was certain. But what exactly was going on? Harry sighed and resigned himself to another year of bizarre challenges.  
  
The Fat Lady let them in to the Gryffindor common room. The password this year was "bobotuber pus."  
  
"Bobotuber pus! Yuck! What kind of a password is that?" Ron shouted.  
  
The Fat Lady said it was something that they were least likely to guess. But who "they" were, she refused to say.  
  
"Hedwig!" Harry said, spotting his owl sitting on a table with a letter tied to her leg. He untied the parchment and gave an affectionate pat to Hedwig. Harry unrolled the letter, wondering who had written him.  
  
Dear Harry, I hope you didn't have too much trouble on the Hogwarts Express and in your first day back. I know that Moody is back at Hogwarts, so he should keep things as normal as possible. Dumbledore was going to have me back as defense against the dark arts teacher, but things have gotten a bit complicated. There's been an explosion of snoggarts, and I always have a problem with them. Moody is the best snoggart-hunter in the country - nothing gets past him - so it was decided that he would be the best wizard to have at Hogwarts this year. I know the snoggarts will probably come after you even more than they come after me, but I hope they don't bother you too much. Just remember that you are a very talented wizard, and you should have no problem fighting them off. Let me know how you are doing. Remus Lupin  
  
Harry read the letter over twice, and he still didn't understand what it meant.  
  
"What are snoggarts?" he said.  
  
Ron and Hermione just shrugged.  
  
**** A/N: Stay tuned for a full description of snoggarts in the next chapter! Thanks to all the reviewers. It's nice to know people are reading my story. 


	5. What are Snoggarts?

DISCLAIMER: All characters and other elements from the Harry Potter books belong to J.K. Rowling. Snoggarts are inspired by Rowling's work; however, they are my own invention.  
  
***  
  
In their first night back at Hogwarts, most of the Gryffindor boys were sleeping peacefully. But Harry was tossing and turning in his sleep. He was dreaming that he was being chased by a boggart through the corridors of Hogwarts. As it always was for Harry, the boggart was in the form of a dementor. Only this dementor had ridiculously large, berry red lips. It was getting closer to Harry, trying to give him a kiss.  
  
"It's a snoggart!" someone shouted.  
  
And suddenly, Remus Lupin leaped in between Harry and the dementor. Harry watched as it bore down on Lupin and ---  
  
Harry woke with a start. He waited for the pounding in his heart to subside, and then, because it was light out, he decided he might as well get up. Harry dressed and went down to the common room to wait for Ron and Hermione.  
  
Hermione and Ginny came down from the girls' dormitory a few minutes later.  
  
"Harry, I tried to find out what snoggarts are," Hermione said. "I looked through a few of my books last night before bed, but I didn't find anything. I have a few more books I want to check at breakfast."  
  
Ron and Neville joined them, and they went down to the Great Hall.  
  
Harry ate his breakfast quietly, while Hermione scanned her books for any mention of snoggarts.  
  
"Snog art?" Ron said. "Maybe it's like a painting that kisses you."  
  
"I don't think so, Ron," Hermione said. "Besides, it's one word: snoggart."  
  
Harry wondered if he should tell them about his dream of a dementor trying to kiss him, but he decided not to mention it.  
  
"Here! . . . Oh, hmm . . . That's interesting . . ." Hermione said. "Listen to this: 'The last snoggart is believed to have been eradicated in 1978.' That's all it says."  
  
Luna Lovegood was making her way over to the Gryffindor table. Harry scooted over to make room for her, and she sat down breathlessly.  
  
"Did you hear?" Luna said, her eyes shining with excitement. "There are snoggarts at Hogwarts! Of course, the ministry says they were all killed in 1978, but I never believed that. The ministry still won't admit they exist, but I heard Professor McGonagall talking to Professor Flitwick about them. I would love to meet one, wouldn't you?"  
  
"No," Ron said rudely.  
  
Hermione just looked grumpy that Luna had known about snoggarts and didn't have to look it up in a book.  
  
"We'd better go to class," Hermione said, gathering up her books.  
  
Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville left the table and made their way to their first class: Defense Against the Dark Arts.  
  
Professor Moody entered the classroom and surveyed them all.  
  
"You can put your wands away," he said. "You won't be needing them."  
  
The class groaned. This was the way Professor Umbridge's class had been. They doubted they could fight the dark arts without wands. What were they going to do, use wandless magic?  
  
"My job," Moody said, "is to teach you about snoggarts. We'll stay on this subject as long as it takes to teach you what you need to know. Now, who here knows what a snoggart is? . . . Miss Granger?"  
  
"The last snoggart is believed to have been eradicated in 1978," Hermione said. "But I couldn't find any other information about them."  
  
"They were not eradicated, even though that is what the ministry believes," Professor Moody said. "They probably did go into a period of dormancy around that time. And when they aren't seen, people tend to forget they exist. But they always re-emerge, and Hogwarts is one of their favorite places. We are currently in one of the worst snoggart infestations I have ever seen. They can be dangerous and very tricky.  
  
"I know you all know what a boggart is. Well, a snoggart is very similar to a boggart. But a boggart changes itself into the thing it thinks you will most fear. A snoggart changes itself into the thing it thinks you will most love. And, some of you are more likely than others to be attacked by snoggarts."  
  
Harry felt Professor Moody's gaze bearing down on him.  
  
*** A/N ***  
  
There's more on snoggarts coming up. Yes, snoggart is a combination of the words "snog" and "boggart."  
  
Thanks to everyone who's reading, enjoying and reviewing my story. 


	6. Harry meets Jessica Starsparkle

Harry groaned. He thought he had a pretty good idea of who was more likely to be attacked by a snoggart. Harry sat up and paid closer attention to what Professor Moody was saying. If he was going to be attacked by snoggarts, he'd better learn how to fight them.  
  
"Snoggarts don't like me much. They generally prefer prettier victims. Besides, there's no fooling my eye," Moody said, pointing to his magical eye, which was surveying the class. "It can spot 'em a mile off. And the snoggarts know it, so they tend to avoid me. So if you think you have a snoggart and you can't get rid of it, come to me."  
  
Professor Moody paused, and the Gryffindors all looked around at each other, confused. They still didn't fully understand what snoggarts were. And Moody had said nothing about how to fight them off. Several hands went into the air.  
  
"What do they look like?" Dean asked when Professor Moody called on him.  
  
"They look like whatever they want to look like," Moody answered gruffly. "Just like a boggart can change itself into anything from a fiery, disembodied eye to a giant spider. Only snoggarts won't change itself into anything ugly or scary. They change into something beautiful or charming. That's what makes them so hard to detect. If you see an enraged troll coming at you, it doesn't matter if it's a real troll or a boggart, you know it's an enemy. But what do you do if you see a young, attractive witch? It could be a witch, or it could be a snoggart. They're tricky, so you have to be careful."  
  
With that, class was over. Professor Moody hadn't said a word about how to fight snoggarts and very little about what they do or how to recognize them. Harry felt that he was missing some important information. He looked at his schedule: Today was Monday, and they wouldn't have another Defense Against the Dark Arts class until Thursday. At least that would be a double period. Up next was Divination.  
  
Harry and Ron waved to Hermione, who was going to her Ancient Runes class, and started walking to the Divination classroom.  
  
"Pretty wild about the snoggarts, huh?" Ron said.  
  
Harry just mumbled and nodded.  
  
"But I wonder what happened before 1978," Ron said. "Hey, weren't your parents here about that time?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess they were," Harry said.  
  
He and Ron passed the rest of the walk in silence. Harry didn't feel much like talking, so he just stared at the floor. They were almost to the Divination classroom when Harry crashed into someone going the other way.  
  
"Great," Harry grumbled. He was on the floor, and the contents of his bag had spilled everywhere. He looked up and saw the girl he had bumped into getting to her feet.  
  
She had shining, light blond hair that fell in soft curls halfway down her back. Her skin was flawless and seemed to shine from within, almost like she had silver blood. Maybe she has unicorn blood, Harry thought. Her eyes were sapphire blue and framed by dark, lush lashes. But they were currently flashing with amusement. She laughed. Harry flushed with embarrassment, realizing that he was still on the floor and was staring at this girl with his mouth dropped open in awe.  
  
She extended her hand to help Harry to his feet.  
  
"Hi," she said, "I'm Jessica Starsparkle. Can you tell me how to get to the divination classroom?" 


	7. Hermione is on to Jessica

"I'm Harry Potter," Harry said rather breathlessly. "And this is my friend Ron Weasley."  
  
Ron blushed and gave a small wave and a smile.  
  
"If you wait for us, we can show you the way to the Divination classroom," Harry said. "That's where we're going."  
  
Jessica agreed to that readily. She looked elegantly bored while Harry picked up the contents of his bag and perked up when Harry's attention was back on her.  
  
When they got to the classroom, Harry, Ron and Jessica found seats together. Harry wondered what grim things Professor Trelawney would have to say about him this year.  
  
"You," Trelawney said, looking at the three of them. "You have a deep and tragic past."  
  
"I know that," Harry said. "I thought everybody knew that."  
  
"I was not referring to you," Trelawney said.  
  
Harry looked to his left and saw Jessica. Tears were falling down her face in shimmering silver streams. Harry didn't know what was making her cry. All he knew was that he wanted to keep her safe and never let anything make her cry again.  
  
"It's true," Jessica said, sniffing charmingly. She didn't elaborate, but she held her head up high, and Harry was impressed by her strength and resilience. Whatever had happened to her must have been truly awful, much worse than having your parents be killed when you were a baby, living with hateful relatives and then having your godfather die, too.  
  
When class was over, Harry, Ron and Jessica went down to the Great Hall for lunch. They had found out that Jessica was a transfer student, which is why they hadn't seen her before. She was in Gryffindor and a sixth year, just like they were. The hall was crowded, but Hermione was already there and saving seats for them. When Harry introduced Jessica, Hermione got a dark look on her face, but she said nothing.  
  
"Can I call you 'Mione?" Jessica asked.  
  
"No," Hermione said curtly.  
  
She seemed to strongly dislike Jessica Starsparkle, though Harry and Ron didn't know why. Hermione spent most of the lunch hour talking to Neville and Ginny and ignored Harry, Ron and Jessica.  
  
After they were done eating, they stood up to leave, but Hermione pulled Ron roughly to one side and told the others to go on ahead.  
  
"Ron, Jessica is a snoggart. I'm almost sure of it," Hermione said.  
  
"How do you know?" Ron said. "Besides, it's not a good reason to be so mean to her."  
  
"Well, I don't know for certain. But I'd be willing to bet she is," Hermione replied. "If only we knew more about snoggarts. Moody hasn't even told us half of what there is to know. And he hasn't told us how to get rid of them."  
  
"Don't worry about Jessica. She's all right," Ron said. "You're probably just jealous."  
  
Hermione glared at Ron. Then she turned and stomped out of the hall in a fury.  
  
When she got outside the hall, she saw that the others hadn't gotten far. Harry and Draco were standing and facing each other with looks of loathing on their faces.  
  
"Oh, look. It's the Mudblood," Draco said as Hermione approached.  
  
Hermione ignored him and went up to Harry.  
  
"Come on, Harry. Let's go," she said.  
  
"Yeah, Potthead! Get out of here!" a female voice said.  
  
Hermione looked at the girl. She was wearing Slytherin robes and standing close to Draco in a possessive sort of way. She had silvery hair that went down past her butt and her eyes were a deep violet color.  
  
"Potthead?" Hermione said. "Potthead?! Really, what kind of an insult is that?"  
  
Hermione started to giggle. Ginny and Neville joined in. The violet-eyed girl looked infuriated. 


	8. A Slytherin Interlude

Draco turned away from the Gryffindors and strutted down the hall. He always strutted. The mockery of Potter and his friends meant nothing. Draco knew who were worthwhile witches and wizards and who were not. He was born into a wealthy, pureblood wizarding family. And there was that Granger laughing at them! Well, to be more accurate, she was laughing at the beautiful, new Slytherin.  
  
Draco looked at the gorgeous girl walking next to him, and an arrogant smirk showed on his face.  
  
Her name was Alexia Moonstone. Her hair was silvery-blonde and it cascaded all the way down her back. Her eyes were violet. Violet! Draco had never seen violet eyes before, but he was entranced. He wanted to climb into her eyes and swim there until he drowned.  
  
She was a pureblood, of course. Draco would never consider dating someone who wasn't. And she was in Slytherin. Draco didn't remember her being sorted into Slytherin. But she was a transfer student, so maybe she had a special sorting.  
  
Alexia was the perfect match for him. He was so hot that he deserved to be with someone equally sexy. And she was. She had curves in all the right places. And her hair and eyes were incredible.  
  
Draco's smirk grew, and he put his arm around Alexia's waist. He would have to figure out how to get her alone in the common room later.  
  
"Hey babe," Draco said. "Father bought me a Firebolt over the summer. If you want, I'll let you ride it later."  
  
"No thanks," Alexia said. "I have my own broom. It's a Thunderbolt 4000. They haven't even been released yet, but I have one anyway."  
  
Draco was impressed. He was never impressed. But Alexia Moonstone was something special.  
  
They were almost to the Slytherin common room when a blue-black blur came hurtling out of a doorway and launched itself at Alexia.  
  
Alexia screamed and went down in a tangle of arms and legs with her attacker. Sparks were shooting out of their wands and they were moving fast, but Draco recognized the girl and her black makeup and piercings. It was Angel, the girl he had snogged on the Hogwarts Express. But he hadn't seen her since shortly after the welcoming feast. What was she doing here? Draco knew whom he wanted to win, but he wasn't about to join in.  
  
The girls' wands went skittering across the floor. They continued to fight without magic. Suddenly, Draco was knocked to the side as Pansy rushed past him and jumped in the fight.  
  
They continued that way for a few more minutes until Alexia raised her hands slowly and dramatically. Pansy and Angel rose into the air and were slammed against the wall. They sank to the ground unconscious.  
  
"Well, that was irritating," Alexia said. She tugged on her sleeve, which had been pushed up a bit. Other than that, she didn't show a single sign of having just been in a melee.  
  
Draco looked at Pansy and Angel. Girls were fighting over him. He was the man! He didn't feel sorry for Pansy and Angel and just decided to leave them there. He was curious how it happened, though.  
  
"How did you do that?" Draco asked as he handed Alexia's wand back to her.  
  
"Oh, that," Alexia said with a modest wave of her hand. "That's just wandless magic. It's a rare power, but I am fortunate enough to have it. I only have a wand for show. I don't really need it." 


	9. Hermione's Brilliant Plan

The next morning, Harry, Jessica and Hermione were waiting for Ron to come down. Harry and Jessica were giggling and flirting near the entrance to the common room. Hermione was standing at the foot of the staircase to the boys' dormitory.  
  
As soon as Ron emerged, Hermione pounced. She wanted to talk to him away from Harry and Jessica.  
  
"Ron, do you remember what I said yesterday about Jessica Starsparkle?"  
  
"Are you still going on about her being a snoggart?" Ron said.  
  
"Well, of course, I can't be certain. If only Professor Moody had given us a list of traits!" Hermione said. "But I'm even more convinced than ever. I think she's a snoggart. She's not normal whatever she is. This morning she got up and she didn't even brush her hair!"  
  
"So?" Ron said. "Maybe she just didn't feel like it."  
  
"Ron, nobody with hair that long can get away with not brushing their hair, even in the wizarding world. It would be a tangled mess!" Hermione said. "Besides, have you seen the way she's flirting with Harry?"  
  
Ron looked toward the pair to see Harry brush a lock of hair off Jessica's face in the type of intimate gesture usually found in sappy romances. Ron had to admit that Hermione had a point.  
  
"But even if she is a snoggart, we can't do anything. Moody didn't tell us how to get rid of them," he said.  
  
"I know," Hermione said, biting her lip. "But Moody did say we could go to him if there's a snoggart we need to get rid of. I suppose that'll have to do, though I wish I could get rid of her myself."  
  
They walked down to breakfast with Harry and Jessica. Hermione was disappointed to find that Professor Moody was nowhere in sight.  
  
"C'mon. We have to go find Moody," Hermione said to Ron, who was helping himself to a heaping plateful of food.  
  
"But I'm eating!" Ron protested. "And Moody could be anywhere."  
  
"I have a good idea of where he is," Hermione said, handing Ron two pieces of toast and dragging him out of the Great Hall.  
  
Hermione strode quickly down the hall, with Ron trotting beside her, grumbling and eating his toast. She headed downstairs and stopped when she and Ron were standing outside the door to the office of everybody's favorite potions master. Ron looked confused, but Hermione knocked confidently on the door.  
  
The door creaked open, and a beautiful witch stood before them. She was tall and slender. She wore a gown with a plunging neckline that showed off her gorgeous body and perfect curves. Her ears were delicately pointed. Her hair was flaming red. Around her neck she wore a jewel that shone with the most amazing light.  
  
"Is Professor Moody here?" Hermione asked, while Ron gaped.  
  
The woman didn't say anything, but Hermione's question was quickly answered when Professor Moody stomped toward the door. He shoved the beautiful woman out of the way and looked down at Hermione and Ron.  
  
"Miss Granger, Mr. Weasley, how can I help you?" he growled.  
  
"We need some help with a snoggart," Hermione said.  
  
"Snoggart, eh? Well, come in. Come in," Moody said, gesturing them into Professor Snape's office. "I was just helping Severus here get rid of several snoggarts."  
  
Ron and Hermione's hearts sank. Finding Snape in an awkward situation and needing help from Moody could not be good. Snape would probably find some excuse to take points off Gryffindor for it. They stood nervously as Professor Snape strode over to them.  
  
"Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger," he hissed. "I'm only sorry Mr. Potter couldn't join you. Ten points to each of you, though, for being so nice and visiting me!"  
  
"Oh boy . . . " Moody said, as Ron and Hermione looked shocked. Ron's face took on its trademarked Confused Look. Hermione opened and closed her mouth several times as though she wanted to say something, but eventually she gave up and just stood there silently.  
  
"I'm getting married!" Snape shouted gleefully.  
  
Professor Moody made an indistinct noise somewhere between a growl and a mutter. Hermione and Ron's eyes got even wider --- if that was possible.  
  
"She's bewitched him, that one has," Moody said, pointing at the beautiful woman, who was currently fluttering her lashes and practicing looking radiantly gorgeous. "And I'm having the devil of a time figuring out how to get rid of her."  
  
"What do you mean 'figuring out how to get rid of her'?" Hermione said. "Can't you just get rid of her like you got rid of the others?"  
  
"No. You see, the problem with snoggarts is there's no sure-fire way of getting rid of them," Moody said. "What works for one might not work for another. I dealt with the other ones pretty quickly, but this one is more difficult. She's definitely a snoggart, but she's not like any snoggart I've ever seen before. She calls herself Curuwen and says she's the daughter of some guy named Fëanor. But I don't know what any of that means."  
  
They looked over at Snape and the snoggart, who were flirting with each other. Curuwen brushed a lock of hair off of Snape's face, and he giggled. Ron and Hermione still didn't know a lot about snoggarts, but they guessed this must be an especially powerful one if she could make Snape giggle. Snape didn't look as greasy and sallow-skinned as usual. Curuwen was blazingly gorgeous. Her luminous skin and flaming hair were exceeded only by the brilliance of the jewel around her neck.  
  
As she looked at the jewel, Hermione gasped.  
  
"I have an idea!" she said and fled from the room.  
  
By the time Ron made it to the door to follow her, he couldn't tell where she had gone. He re-entered Snape's office to wait for Hermione. It was not a fun wait. Moody was pacing and muttering to himself, trying to think of a way to get rid of the snoggart. Snape and Curuwen were still flirting with each other, which Ron found disgusting.  
  
When Hermione finally returned, she was out of breath and carrying a small cage. She opened the door to the cage, and a niffler shot out and launched itself at Curuwen. The snoggart ran away, screaming and shrieking as the small animal tried to eat her hair, her skin and the jewel around her neck.  
  
"Excellent work, Miss Granger!" Professor Moody said. "Twenty points to Gryffindor for your creative thinking. I've never seen a niffler attack a snoggart before. But, then, I've never seen a snoggart as, well, shiny as that one."  
  
*** Author's Note ***  
  
I wasn't planning for this to be a Silmarillion crossover. It just kind of happened. I didn't explicitly say so, but that was a Silmaril around her neck, of course. 


	10. Jessica's Disgusting Beginning And End

"Well, Severus," Professor Moody said, "it looks like you won't be getting married after all. But you'll be glad to know that things are back to normal."  
  
"Back to normal," Professor Snape repeated in a dazed way.  
  
But with the snoggart gone, Snape quickly recovered. He seemed to wake from a trance and become his normal self again. He saw Ron and Hermione in his office, and he did not look at all pleased.  
  
"I don't recall inviting you two into my office," Snape said. "Twenty points from Gryffindor. Now leave."  
  
Ron and Hermione didn't need telling twice. They hurried out of the room.  
  
"Twenty points from Gryffindor! That is so unfair!" Ron complained.  
  
"But he gave us twenty points we didn't deserve, so we come out even," Hermione said. "Now hurry up! We're going to be late to Care of Magical Creatures."  
  
They had gone only a few steps when they heard a familiar clomping noise behind them. They turned around and saw Professor Moody walking toward them.  
  
"Miss Granger, Mr. Weasley," Moody said, "I thought you said you had a snoggart problem you needed help with?"  
  
"Oh, yes," Hermione said. "I just forgot about it. We're late to class, you see."  
  
"Don't worry about that. I'll excuse you," Moody replied. "Now tell me about this snoggart."  
  
As the three of them walked through the corridors, Hermione told Professor Moody everything she knew about Jessica. Moody snorted when he heard her last name.  
  
"Starsparkle, eh?" he said. "Sounds like a classic snoggart to me."  
  
"And Harry says she has unicorn blood," Ron put in.  
  
"Well he would think that. He's under her spell. And, I might add, so were you until Miss Granger here helped you snap out of it," Moody said. "I've been worried about young Potter. He's an irresistible target for snoggarts. But so far he's seemed to make out better than Professor Snape has."  
  
They reached the doors and went outside, striding across the grass toward where Hagrid's class was already assembled.  
  
"Ah, Hagrid. I'm sorry to have kept two of your students from coming to class on time. They were helping me with a project," Moody said. "And if it's not too much trouble, I'd also like to borrow Potter and Miss Starsparkle."  
  
Hagrid nodded, and Harry and Jessica walked over. For the first time, Jessica's perfect confidence and poise seemed to falter. She walked as slowly as she could. She refused to look Moody in the eye, sending occasional nervous glances in his direction. There was only one thing left to do. Jessica did what any romantic would do in such a situation: she fainted. It was a delicate, graceful swoon that left her falling lightly into Harry's Quidditch-toned arms.  
  
"Oh, no!" Harry said worriedly and immediately bent over Jessica. He administered gentle slaps to her face and kept whispering for her to wake up.  
  
Moody growled.  
  
"Oh, she's good!" Hermione said with a measure of awe in her voice.  
  
"Wake up Miss Starsparkle!" Moody barked. "Half-unicorns don't usually faint so easily."  
  
That got her attention. "You know?" she gasped. "But I haven't told anybody! I was so afraid they'd hate me when they found out."  
  
"You are half-unicorn, then?" Harry said, putting his arm around Jessica.  
  
She nodded, and two silver tears emerged from her eyes and fell in glittering paths down her cheeks.  
  
Moody looked impatient. "Perhaps you'd like to tell us about your parents?" he said. "I'm sure we'd all love to know where you come from."  
  
Jessica Starsparkle ignored her mistrust of Moody and immediately brightened at the prospect of talking about herself.  
  
"Well, you see... My mother was a very powerful witch. And my father was a unicorn. They met in the Spartoon Forest. They fell in love and... Oh...." Jessica's voice faltered. She looked around, hoping no one had noticed her mistake. But Harry's formerly love-filled face now had an expression of revulsion.  
  
"That's disgusting!" Ron exclaimed. "A witch and a unicorn?!"  
  
"And if you're half-unicorn, why don't you have hooves or a horn?" Harry asked.  
  
"Well, maybe I do!" Jessica retorted. As soon as she said that, her dainty feet turned into hooves and a horn sprouted out of her head.  
  
Harry, Hermione, Ron and Professor Moody looked horrified at the bizarre half-breed before them. Jessica took one look at their faces and her face grew red. She ran off into the Forbidden Forest, weeping in a very unbecoming fashion.  
  
"Congratulations Potter! You are now free from the snoggart-spell," Moody said.  
  
"Er, thanks," Harry said. He looked toward where Jessica had fled and shuddered. 


	11. Classic Snoggart Traits

I've been really busy, so I haven't been updating as much as I would like. But here's Chapter 11 now. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! I'm so glad you like the story.  
  
DISCLAIMER: All Harry Potter characters, etc., etc. belong to J.K. Rowling and/or Warner Bros. They do not belong to me.  
  
***  
  
Care of Magical Creatures was almost over by the time Harry, Ron and Hermione rejoined the class. They waited out the few minutes left without paying much attention. Their minds were still on Jessica Starsparkle. After class ended, Harry and Ron stayed around while Hermione gave the cage back to Hagrid.  
  
"I'm sorry the niffler's gone," Hermione said. "But here's your cage back."  
  
"That's alright. Did it work?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. It worked great!" Hermione said, with a broad grin on her face. "It got rid of that snoggart immediately."  
  
"I'd like a snoggart," Hagrid said.  
  
"You'd like one?" Harry asked. "Why on earth would you like one?"  
  
"Well, they're kind of funny and cute. Fascinating creatures, snoggarts," Hagrid said. "But snoggarts don't like me. I'm not really their type."  
  
*  
  
After Jessica Starsparkle, they had no more major issues with snoggarts the rest of Tuesday or all day Wednesday. Sure, there were the attractive girls regularly trying to guess the password into the Gryffindor dormitories. But they only guessed names of flowers and candy. They got frustrated and left when they couldn't come up with the real password (which was still "bobotuber pus").  
  
On Thursday morning, Harry, Hermione and Ron were talking excitedly. Immediately after breakfast would be a double period of Defense Against the Dark Arts.  
  
"I still don't understand why they're so dangerous," Ron said.  
  
"Oh, Ron, you've seen what they can do," Hermione said. "You saw what they did to Harry and Snape. The snoggarts made them act completely out of character!"  
  
*  
  
Moody began the class by surveying them all critically. "Good. No snoggarts in our midst. I think we can begin.  
  
"Today we will continue to work on recognizing snoggarts. It's no good trying to deal with them if you can't positively identify them," Moody said. "Now, I've invited a classic snoggart to come participate in this class. It wasn't too hard to convince her. Snoggarts love to show off."  
  
Moody opened a door, and Jessica Starsparkle entered the room. Harry, Ron and Hermione gasped.  
  
"Don't worry. She's already been discovered and dispatched, so she's harmless at the moment," Moody said. "Take a close look at her and tell me what color her eyes are."  
  
"Blue."  
  
"Violet with flecks of sapphire."  
  
"Emerald orbs."  
  
"The deepest shade of silver I've ever seen."  
  
"Chocolate brown ... no, amethyst ... no, midnight blue!"  
  
"Exactly!" Moody said. "Her eyes are any color, sometimes multiple colors at the same time. She can change the color of her eyes at will. This is a classic trait of a snoggart. Not all snoggarts take advantage of color- changing eyes, but many do. Also, you'll note that her eyes could be purple or silver. What does that tell us?"  
  
"Er, that snoggarts don't look like regular people?" Seamus offered.  
  
"Precisely," Moody barked. "Regular witches and wizards do not have color- changing eyes. Nor do they have eyes that are gold, purple or silver. The obvious exception is Metamorphmagi, which, I hardly need remind you, are exceedingly rare."  
  
"Why do they change eye colors? And why do they pick such strange colors like gold?" Lavender asked.  
  
"Excellent questions," Moody said. "Perhaps we should ask Miss Starsparkle. Why do you change your eye color?"  
  
"Purple eyes are pretty!" Jessica said. "And color-changing eyes are beautiful and cool and unique. Don't you have any imagination?!"  
  
The class shifted uncomfortably as Jessica's eyes flashed red in her anger. What was she all worked up about?  
  
"Ah, thank you Miss Starsparkle," Moody said. "You've provided a perfect segue into another point I wanted to make: Snoggarts are highly sensitive and extremely defensive. They don't take criticism well. That's part of the reason many of them take on such beautiful, intelligent and powerful forms.  
  
"However, that's also their downfall. It makes them easier to recognize --- both for their beauty and for their defensiveness. Go on, try to insult her."  
  
"You're stupid," Dean said to Jessica.  
  
"Oh how typical!" Jessica said, holding her head up proudly. "I have battled all my life against the blatant sexism shown by all men. And I have proved myself smarter and more skilled than any man. Not that they'd ever see it. They just think I'm an ornament with no abilities whatsoever. You're just like Boromir!"  
  
The class looked at each other in confusion. Dean certainly wasn't sexist. He hadn't even said anything about her being a girl. And who was Boromir?  
  
"You ... can't sing!" Parvati said.  
  
"You're just jealous because I can sing so much better than you! I don't notice you singing. That's because you can't sing. You suck. All you can do is go around making fun of people who can sing," Jessica said before turning her back on Parvati.  
  
"You aren't all that beautiful," Hermione said to Jessica.  
  
"How dare you?!" Jessica screeched. "You only say that because you're an ugly, fat, mean lesbian!"  
  
Hermione looked startled and amused. But this was too much for Harry and Ron, who leapt to their feet.  
  
"She's not fat or ugly!" Harry said.  
  
"She's not a lesbian! And I should know!" Ron shouted before turning a brilliant shade of red and dropping back into his seat. 


	12. Letter from Lupin

Jessica looked miffed to have the class's attention no longer focused on her after Ron's outburst. Dean's jaw dropped and he stared at Ron. Lavender and Parvati immediately started whispering to each other. And Seamus snorted with laughter.  
  
Ron groaned and buried his face in his hands.  
  
Harry felt he should do something to reassure his friend, but he was as shocked as the rest of the class. All he could do was pat Ron's shoulder as he looked over at Hermione, who was blushing but retaining her composure remarkably well.  
  
Professor Moody, however, was in no mood to let his class get derailed by this little drama. He dismissed Jessica Starsparkle with a gruff order and made his wand give off several loud popping noises in order to regain the class's attention.  
  
"Now," he said. "We've learned several traits common to snoggarts. But, unfortunately, that's all they are: common. There are almost no universal traits among snoggarts. Even some of the most common symptoms, such as desire for attention, do have exceptions. But most snoggarts will fall into the same patterns. So recognizing common snoggart traits is valuable, though not perfect. Furthermore, snoggarts very failure to adhere to norms can make them easier to identify. Can anyone tell me how?"  
  
Hermione raised her hand. "Well, they don't fit into a strict pattern of snoggart traits, but they don't seem to fit into the pattern of real traits, either. Like Jessica Starsparkle: She woke up and didn't need to brush her hair, even though it was really long and hadn't been braided. Beauty and talent are real traits and might be believable --- but no one can have hair like that and not have to brush it."  
  
"Well said, Miss Granger," Moody said. "Sometimes it might be the least blatant thing that can clue you in to a snoggart. So be observant!"  
  
"Homework for next class: Write a list of snoggart traits, both ones we have discussed and ones we haven't mentioned. There's no way of coming up with a complete list because there are too many, but write down as many as you can think of. Also, I want you to write a description of what a snoggart would be for you."  
  
When Moody dismissed the class, Ron bolted from the room to avoid having to talk to any of the other Gryffindors. Hermione sighed and walked next to Harry, who couldn't think of anything to say.  
  
Hermione and Ron. At least Ron knew he wasn't dealing with a snoggart. Harry had been confronting them regularly since he arrived at Platform 9 3/4. It hardly surprised him that he'd had more trouble with snoggarts then the rest of the students put together. But, still, just once he wished that all the excitement could happen to somebody else for a change.  
  
When Harry and Hermione got back to the Gryffindor common room, there was no sight of Ron, who Harry guessed was hiding in the dormitory. But he saw Hedwig perched on the back of a chair, waiting for him. He walked over to her and untied the letter from her leg. It was from Lupin.  
  
Harry had forgotten that he had responded to Lupin's letter about watching out for snoggarts. At the time, though, Harry had no idea what a snoggart was, so he asked Lupin to tell him. He hardly needed Lupin's explanation now, but he was still interested to see what the letter said.  
  
Harry ripped the letter open and scanned it. He quickly called Hermione over to read it.  
  
Dear Harry,  
I'm surprised you've never heard of snoggarts before. But I suppose it makes sense. After all, snoggarts seemed to die out for a while after I left school, and they're only now coming back in great numbers. I think snoggarts tend to explode every generation or so. When your parents and I were at Hogwarts, they were particularly bad in our sixth and seventh year.  
  
It's hard for me to talk about it, even now. But, Harry, I would never try to hold anything from you, so I'll tell you what happened to me and your parents and Sirius...  
  
- Author's Note -   
To be continued, with Lupin's story. 


	13. Lupin's Story

Author's Note: Thanks to my reviewers! And here's a new chapter, so you don't have to wait months for the answer to the mild cliffhanger:  
  
========  
  
"Harry, you already know a little bit about my time at Hogwarts. You know that I was great friends with your father, James, and with Sirius and Peter Pettigrew. And I was also friends with your mother. You also know that Sirius, Peter and your father learned how to become Animagi. What you don't know is that they were not the only ones who could change into animals at will.  
  
"Maybe I had better start at the beginning...  
  
"Sirius, James and Peter became Animagi in our fifth year. And that year was great. In our sixth year, however, odd things started happening. Of course it was a proliferation of snoggarts -- but we didn't know that then. We thought they were ordinary witches -- well, maybe not ordinary. And we reacted how any teenage boys would react to beautiful, talented witches. If we hadn't caught on when we did, things might have been very different.  
  
"I remember the first one I met. It was in the carriages from the Hogwarts Express to the school. Lily, James, Sirius and Peter had taken a carriage, so I was left to find a carriage by myself. Only I wasn't by myself.  
  
"In the carriage with me was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. She had shiny hair the color of maple syrup. It was perfectly straight and hung in a gleaming sheet halfway down her back. Her eyes were a beautiful light brown color. Best of all, she looked friendly. And she was friendly. Her name was Katerina, and she immediately started talking to me like an old friend. But the first sign that something was wrong came when she stopped her friendly chatter. She gazed deeply into my eyes, as though she could read me.  
  
"Then she took my hand and said gravely, 'I know your secret, Remus. I know you are a werewolf.'  
  
"I gasped. How could she know?  
  
"When I asked her, she told me that she, too, was a werewolf. I should have realized then that she wasn't a real witch (or a real lycanthrope, for that matter). But I was flattered by the attention and amazed by her beauty, so I ignored the warnings.  
  
"After we got to the castle, she immediately befriended your mother. The two of them started to giggle and gossip. And that should have been another clue. Lily was never silly or shallow. But she would change when snoggarts were around. We didn't know it then, but they seemed to think of her as a way to get to us.  
  
"Fortunately, Katerina left very shortly after I met her. I wouldn't have intentionally sent her away, and I didn't know I should. But we were just sitting down in the Great Hall when she called me 'Remmy.' I shouted at her: 'My name is not Remmy! What kind of a stupid nickname is that?!' She started crying and left the hall. I never saw her again.  
  
"There were others after her, though. Many more. Sirius had the worst of it, I'm afraid. And I had more than my share of snoggarts come after me.  
  
"James was mostly safe because, by that time, he was dating Lily. But the snoggarts who did come after him were much worse. They couldn't compete with Lily, so they'd pretend to be her. He had to fend off a number of snoggarts who were Lily in strange clothes or with black hair or anachronistic muggle devices. It was all very strange. But James became an expert at discovering and banishing them very quickly.  
  
"Snoggarts learn from their mistakes, though, so they became better at putting us under their spell. Sirius and I had snoggarts regularly latching on to us, but they never managed to last more than a few days until ... well, things got really bad.  
  
"There were three of them: Aurora, Serenity and Lily. They called themselves 'The Marauderettes.' Looking back, I don't know how we could have been drawn in by such a ridiculous name. At the time, we thought it was serendipity.  
  
"Part of the problem was that the snoggart calling itself Lily was actually like your mother in every way. Every way except for one, that is. Aurora, Serenity and Lily were all animagi. Lily transformed into a lynx; Aurora transformed into a black panther; and Serenity transformed into a lioness.  
  
"Sirius, James and I thought it was brilliant that the girls were animagi, too. We spent as much time as we could together, in our human and animal forms. Everything seemed perfect. James was in love with Lily. Sirius was in love with Aurora. And I was in love with Serenity. They were gorgeous, talented and fun to be around.  
  
"We were completely under the snoggart spell, and things would have gone very badly if it weren't for Peter. You might be wondering what was happening to Peter Pettigrew during all of this. He was still there and still our friend. But we ignored him more and more as we fell under the snoggart spell and spent more time with Aurora, Serenity and Lily. We didn't want to ignore Peter. But snoggarts never liked him, and so, even when he was with us, he wasn't really part of the group.  
  
"One day, we found Peter crying in the common room. James asked him what was wrong, but before Peter could answer, Lily snapped, 'Who cares?' James, Sirius and I stared at her in shock. This was totally out of character for her.  
  
"Then Aurora and Serenity joined in. They claimed that Peter was not to be trusted, that he was evil, that they could see right through him and that he would betray us.  
  
"We saw them, then, for what they really were: manipulative creatures. No real witches who truly loved us would be so hateful toward our friend. The snoggart spell was broken, and we were free.  
  
"I know you might be thinking that we should have listened to them about Peter. Trust me when I tell you that nothing could have been worse. First of all, if we had trusted the snoggarts, the spell wouldn't have been broken. And your father might have married 'Lily' -- only she wouldn't be the real Lily who was your mother. You wouldn't have been born. (And Voldemort wouldn't have fallen.) Who knows what else would have changed if we hadn't escaped the snoggart spell when we did. I shudder to think of what could have happened.  
  
"I've told you all this not because I enjoy the story, but because I think you deserve an honest answer to your question -- and also because I hope it might help you understand and recognize snoggarts better. Don't be afraid to trust your instinct. Keep true to yourself and your friends, and that should help.  
  
"If you have any other questions, all you have to do is ask. Send me an owl some time to let me know how you're faring with the snoggarts.  
  
"Remus J. Lupin" 


	14. Neville is Horrified

"Wow," Harry said softly when he finished Lupin's letter. "I had no idea that my parents and Sirius and Lupin had problems with snoggarts, too."  
  
He didn't voice his other thought --- that the notion of a snoggart impersonating his mother was highly disturbing.  
  
"That's good that they were able to discover and get rid of the snoggarts," Hermione said. "But there must be a way to get rid of them once and for all instead of having to fend them off all the time. I'm going to go look it up."  
  
Hermione dashed off to the library, and Harry went upstairs to show Lupin's letter to Ron. Ron had only just started reading it when an upset and frantic-looking Neville burst into the dormitory.  
  
"Harry! Ron!" he gasped.  
  
"Neville? What is it?" Harry said.  
  
"It's ... oh, I can't explain! You've just got to come see," he said, then added, "It's Ginny."  
  
"Ginny?!" Ron croaked. And Harry again felt a small pang at the thought of Neville and Ginny together.  
  
Neville half ran, half stumbled down the stairs and out through the portrait hole. Ron and Harry followed, dreading what happened to Ginny.  
  
"Neville, wait!" Ron called. "What happened to my sister?"  
  
Ron seized Neville's shoulder and turned him around. Neville's face was streaked with tears.  
  
"She's all ... weird," Neville said. "Half of her hair is dyed black, and she's wearing these weird clothes. And that's not the worst. She's ... we have to go!"  
  
Neville took off again, and Harry and Ron had no choice but to follow. They ran through corridors and down stairs, nervousness growing with every step. The feeling didn't improve any as Harry and Ron noticed they were getting closer to the area of the Slytherin common room. They rounded a corner and crashed into Neville, who had stopped dead in his tracks. Harry tried to keep them from falling, but it was no good. He, Neville and Ron fell in a tangled heap.  
  
Before they had a chance to get up, they heard a nasty laugh. Harry knew that laugh: It was Draco Malfoy's. Sure enough, he looked up to see Malfoy looking highly amused at their predicament.  
  
And next to Malfoy, with her arm around his shoulders ... was Ginny Weasley.  
  
Harry heard Ron gasp as he fought to stand up.  
  
"Ginny, what in the name of Merlin do you think you're doing?!" Ron shouted.  
  
"I don't have to answer to you!" Ginny retorted, looking disdainfully at Ron, Harry and Neville. "I've changed. I've broken free from everybody's expectations of me. I'm finally myself."  
  
Draco chuckled softly and wrapped his arm around Ginny's waist. Ron emitted a noise that sounded something like a growl.  
  
Harry couldn't blame him. Ginny certainly was unsettlingly different. The ends of her hair were black, and she had streaks of black throughout her hair. She was wearing Hogwarts robes, but they were torn open to reveal a black vinyl top, tight black mini skirt, fishnet stockings and knee-high black boots. She had a piercing in her nose, one in her eyebrow and several in her ears. Her eyes were surrounded by black eyeliner.  
  
"If you must know, Draco and I are dating," Ginny said scornfully.  
  
Harry, Ron and Neville were shocked into silence. They stared dumbly at Ginny and Draco. This could not be happening. Ginny with Draco?  
  
The silence was finally broken by someone sprinting down the corridor.  
  
"Harry! Somebody said they saw you heading this ---"Hermione broke off as she caught sight of Ginny.  
  
"What is going on?"  
  
"Ginny has 'changed.' She just told us she's dating Draco now," Neville said bitterly.  
  
"That's not Ginny," Hermione said matter-of-factly.  
  
"What do you mean it's not Ginny?" Ron said.  
  
"It's a snoggart."  
  
"But snoggarts are supposed to be amazingly gorgeous perfect girls. They don't imitate real people," Ron protested.  
  
"Actually, they do," Harry said hollowly. "I didn't get a chance to show you the letter I got from Professor Lupin"--- Harry shuddered --- "but he told me how snoggarts sometimes take on the appearance of real people."  
  
Ginny protested loudly at this. She drew closer to Draco and glared belligerently at them.  
  
"So how do we get rid of her and get the real Ginny back?" Neville said.  
  
Hermione smiled and pulled a book out of her bag. "I think I've figured it out ... at least, part of it.  
  
"There's a group of witches and wizards who are committed to fighting snoggarts and preserving the wizarding world. They've come up with a charm to get rid of snoggarts. Now it won't fight the whole infestation. But it will get rid of individual snoggarts permanently, so they can't learn from their mistakes and come back. That's always been a problem. But I think --- "  
  
"Hermione!" Ron said. "Are you going to tell us how to get rid of this weirdo Ginny or not?"  
  
"Oh. Yes," Hermione said, blushing. "You need to make a stabbing motion with your wand, and the incantation is 'deleterius.'"  
  
Hermione demonstrated, and the fake Ginny disappeared in a puff of smoke.  
  
Draco looked startled for a moment and then shook himself as though waking from a dream.  
  
"What are you doing in the Slytherin corridor, Mudblood?" he spat.  
  
Harry restrained Ron from attacking Malfoy. "At least we know things are back to normal. Let's go." 


End file.
